just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
