is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
