you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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