I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
