That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
