Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
