p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
