Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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