I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
