STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
