Already got asked if we're dating
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
