This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
