I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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