just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
