one two three fourrrrnication!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
