just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
