How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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