the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
