I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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