ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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