Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
