she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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