Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
