I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
