Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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