eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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