I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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