he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think people are normalizing furries
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
