I didn't shave. On purpose
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
