I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
