This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
