I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just sucked dick on a ferry
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
