i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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