I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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