I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
