4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
