I am in a vortex of obligation.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I have post one night stand depression
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