im drinking this country out of the recession.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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