yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
