Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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