Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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