You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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