Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
