real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
