xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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