ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
