what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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