I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
