And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Damn victory sex feels great
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
