I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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