I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
