I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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