Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
